Max

As Ella said previously, I believe that a whole person is quite a lot to tackle in such a short piece of writing. I feel as though I have been many people and seen many things, and I am amazed how those who actually are worldly keep calm throughout the day to day. As it is my life seems to me like an Ornette Coleman melody, and sometimes I wonder if Pecola's father could really hold his own blowing over one of my twelve month blues'.
Then I sit in on a circle of real jazz musicians, observing as carefully as I can without seeming careful. We talk, we listen, we appreciate perfectly played silence. They sing Coltrane solos front to back as if they were Wonderwall, and I am humbled.
Rahsaan has a thought, and we all tune in. At first he can't get it out, just laughing his hiss-crackle laugh, at the same time endearing and medically concerning. He comes around.

"You know what I hate, nigga?" Rhetorical question.
"When someone asks you, like 'You ever wonder..' Like you ever wonder nigga?", and he cackles again. We're all smiling honestly.
"Like you ever wonder, nigga? Man, shut the fuck up."

At this point we can hold it in no longer. Rahsaan has played his audience perfectly, baiting us with repition and then giving us something new, but still relatable that lies deep in our own souls, to finish the phrase.

At the time, I think nothing of it. Of course I don't. I am not the one who laments and contemplates. I am the one who riffs, jokes, laughs, digs and sees honest humor in everyday life.
Later though, I wonder and then wonder if should be wondering about anything right then. After I get over that, I manage to wonder if I ever should be wondering about anything